Match Report - Radcliffe Borough C

Editor's Note: In space, no-one can hear you scream; in Radcliffe, no-one cares ...

So here we are again. Back to back victories for the girls have restored optimism to the squad, and have left us well placed in the league. With a second Bank Holiday taking its toll on collective livers, would the team be ready to make it a hat-trick, or would we come undone at the hands of newly-promoted Radcliffe?

Last year we played Radcliffe in the cup and lost over at the school, but this year we were treated to the delights of Close Park - for fact lovers out there, there are three "sensory gardens"; one is dedicated to water, presumably reflecting the fact it pees down here 300 days a year, one dedicated to earth, presumably in honour of the earthy citizens of the area, and the final one is dedicated to The Power of Love - despite extensive enquiry, I haven't worked out if this is the Huey Lewis, Jennifer Rush or Frankie Goes to Hollywood version, though it could also refer to nocturnal activity, in which case presumably Michelle and her "stalkmobile" (TM) will be on the case ...

Now after a hectic first day back at work following 11 days off, what could be better than lazing in the Spring sunshine? Well, forget that - every part of Close Park was buffeted by a wind that appeared to come straight off the Arctic. Despite the conditions, a large contingent of spectators from both sides had gathered to cheer on their troops and feel what it must be like to work in a Findus factory.

Or maybe they'd all been drawn in by Lord Byron's shoes. Words cannot do justice to the purplish creations sported by our resident gardener, though the photo on the right may give a hint. Now I'm as interested in shoes as the next red blooded male, but to me these looked less Vera Wang, more Vera Duckworth. I subjected Chris to some pretty tough questioning and managed also to ascertain that YES he would also love plates and ducks on his wall, and NO he hadn't nicked the footwear from my mother.

With a large squad to choose from, we took to the field with Sara (wrapped up in so much urban wear she resembled 50 Cent on a chilly day), Alli (now apparently suffering from 5 injuries, including 'flat feet' I'm sure she said ...) and Katie on the sidelines. First up in the field, and boy were we poor, with more fumbling going on than happens in the Power of Love sensory garden. Having said that we did manage not to give away any rounders, but it wasn't our finest display with the ball. When Radcliffe took to the field, boy was it a different story. Now regular readers will be well aware that these reports are really not written to discuss the games, and certainly not to talk tactics, but WOW were Radcliffe good in the field. Fast hands, good backing up, powerful accurate throwing and enthusiasm galore. If ever you want to see how fielding should be done, this was it. Good job, guys.

Now despite this, we didn't totally disgrace ourselves, and made a good go of matching the Borough, with Vicky once again in good form and Suzanne and Alex also shining with the bat first time round; however, some superb run outs and one or two silly shots saw us go to the interval trailing by 79-127 (or thereabouts, we don't really like to report the facts here). By this time Big John had also arrived, and this provided an opportunity to stretch the legs, engage in some frank and manly discussion about the park's fabulous play facilities ("my god, have you seen that seesaw?! It spins round!") and get away from the carnagefest that was Byron trying to look after Trish's puppy. Though as ever the good Lord did come out with the quote of the night, possibly the season. Whilst I can't give the story in full, the comment "Is she on?" will keep us chuckling for weeks.

And so to the second innings. I sent Jane out with some instructions: "if we score more than them, we'll win". It's a simple game really. Of course these veterans don't need telling. Totts upped the stakes and put in a couple of substitutions with Livvy and Helen making way for Katie and Sara. Now poor Sara was getting a little confused at this point as we batted a second time in succession - she seemed to think that we'd somehow also sneak in a third inning at the end, but sadly this was never going to happen. Things had also gone up a notch on the sidelines, with Byron taking over from Alli on scoring duty, and dog handling passed to the capable hands of Lewis, Danielle's fella, who is apparently a cage fighter and makes his report debut here. Personally I've never had an issue with cages, but hey each to their own. The dog was certainly better behaved anyway!

Last year we were notably better batters second time round, and this came true again, with some sterling work put in. Everyone got in on the act, and we managed to knock quite a few rounders, with Danielle doing her best Roadrunner at one point and almost beheading the 4th base fieldsperson. Katie was having a proper good time of it, bashing two rounders and looking to be on a personal crusade to win us the game - she was terrific. Sue, Vicky and Michelle continued to work hard, and Alex continued to impress; the tea hut was doing a roaring trade by now, though we were increasingly warmed by the performances on the field. Alli revealed her meal du jour to once again contain humous, though sadly lacking any chocolate fingers.

So to the final inning and could we complete a magnificent fightback and steal the game? Well, we certainly had a go. Maybe it was the cold, maybe it was the poor first innings or maybe it was just learning from the opposition, but our fielding second innings was far, far better. We chased, picked up well, took some good catches, ran players out and at one point dismissed 4 in 4 balls. Could the miracle happen? Vicky came on to bowl and almost got beaned as the batter smacked a ball back at her. Vicks held on for dear life, and thankfully it was the batter that was despatched, not her nose. Radcliffe did manage to knock a few rounders, and some excellent batting by the last pair looked to have taken the game away.

The scores were tallied and it transpired that we'd made a good fist of it, eventually succumbing by a final score of 221-196. I have to say that the 2nd half performance was great though, and if we can put in a complete game like that, we'd beat most sides. keep working on the fielding. Hats off again to our opponents for their superb display, and well done girls for coming back strongly.

Finally, astonishing revelations about our Skipper's quizzing abilities have overshadowed all else this week; in a frank and candid conversation, it was revealed that the quiz hotshots of Byron, jemski and Luxton had taken part in a local challenge - and come last - and according to Shellybobs this was because she (and I quote ... "Brains!") wasn't taking part. Clearly she must have been hard at work plotting to overthrow the evil coach ... if nothing else, revel in the glory of Fluffy here!

P.S. FAO Byron, Vera Duckworth just called and she wants her shoes back ...