Editor's Note: May 4th was International Star Wars Day - sadly the force was not with our girls as they succumbed to Dandler by 15
Feisty breakthrough songstress Kesha got it right. I woke up this morning feeling like P Diddy ... unfortunately due to the restraining order I have to stay away. After the chaotic events of Tuesday night, TSJ skipper Michelle may also require a restraining order; in a tight game going to the wire, the captain was incensed by a few interesting decisions and it required the calm hand of the veteran Doodson to keep her in check!
Following back to back wins on home soil, the Saints travelled to Dandler with high hopes of a third straight victory, and got off to an impressive start. Newcomer Alex "Stop and Start" Walton performed admirably and won this week's Mars bar award - though we're not quite sure if this was for her score of 26 in one innings or for the spectacular tumble to the ground during a charge round the bases. Not so much leaping like a young salmon, more flailing like a battered cod. With fellow TSJ new girl Steph "Trotter" Blackledge also batting well, the girls are making pleasing progress. I'm actually less bothered about the on pitch stuff as to why Steph's called Trotter, to be honest ...
The captain was more than impressed with the hard work put into the fielding, even though Dandler's ground featured more bumps than Kryten's head. There was more good work from Kate "Actually more scary than Vicky" Caldwell who was superb at the end of the second innings, but despite their sterling efforts, the girls eventually fell just short.
I started with a Kesha reference and this report ends with another. If you have concerns about boys "trying to touch your junk", there's a simple solution. Get it on eBay and Jane'll buy it.
Reports are brought to you by Dr P, who actually is a doctor, but not a medical one. He's a world expert in shocking puns, and songs with brackets in the title. Team roles include: Motivator, Coach, Navigator, Fluffy's Bat Repairer, Match Reporter and Comedian. He is available for childrens parties, bar-mitzvahs and any dance-related activity. (Testimonial from Jane: "now I fully understand why people believe genius to be closely related to madness"). All comments welcome to webmaster@tsjcc.co.uk.