Editor's Note: The contents of this report are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and just for comic effect.
From zeroes to heroes, nothing to stuffing. Handley's Horrors turned into Handley's Heroes in the space of a week, with an impressive innings victory over Seedfield. After complaining bitterly about their performance in the opening week of the season, ageing talisman Doody Doodson signalled her intentions to get the game off to a fast start - so fast in fact that no-one could register the speed with which she came and went in her innings. Skipper Michelle had other ideas though, and posted a quite astonishing solo score of 49 in the TSJ first innings. Unfortunately, we only tend to celebrate 50s and 100s down at Crompton Meadows, so better luck next time Shelly.
Having posted a substantial score, it was then down to the girls to field well, and they performed admirably to put Seedfield out of the game and register a huge win.
The girls then turned their attention to Dasher's lavish spread of sarnies and cherry tomatoes and polished that off quicksticks; clearly this team isn't just hungry for success! However, there was a moment of controversy as it was revealed that skipper Handley had been deprived of her Mars bar for her oustanding performance - the girls clearly thinking of their captain's figure. Keep her away from the chocolate, ladies, and one day she might just get that 50.
In a moment of madness, the mother/daughter combo then promised a match report "worthy of Philip Larkin". I somehow feel that the Darling Buds' Ma Larkin may be more appropriate ... third time lucky perhaps?
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