Top 5
A series of lists based on events, players, matches and any other TSJ-related topics. Please get in touch and suggest your own for this feature - we've added a few to get the ball rolling!
Rowdy's Top 5 Stories
- The train stopping at Metal Box to allow Glen Greenidge to get off
- The Kinseys talking out some poor batsman who was wearing unusual footwear: "Chriiiiiist, he's wearing ... black pumps"
- Eddie Smith getting a shocker of a decision and then bowling "the fastest delivery ever" when he came on to bowl - apparently one of the bails went over the keeper's head for 6
- Driving Doc, Scoffer and Russ to Wrexham to watch Bury and nearly getting them all killed pulling onto the motorway right in front of a lorry ...
- Glen Greenidge getting shot during a game
Top 5 TSJ Women's incidents 2015
- Ceebs 124 not out
- Sheila discovering what a real cricket ground looks like, with hills and mud!
- THAT catch by Nicki Wilcox!
- Jas finally taking shedloads of wickets
- The freezing day in Harrogate when everyone got wind burn
Top 5 cricket teas
- Irlam monster spread with 8 types of cake
- Glodwick's famous cakes - it was always good to bat second!
- Marshy's African inspired couscous
- Woodbank cup final 2008 - thank goodness we were playing a weak Westleigh, cos there was TONS
- Greenfield (usually after they've racked up 320 for 5)
Top 5 Ste Moriarty Motivational Utterings (cheers, Mike)
- F*cking Hell Rowdy
- F*cking Hell Micky
- F*cking Hell Matt
- F*cking Hell Smiffy
- F*cking Hell Danny
Watty's Totty Top 5
- Taking 6-fer v Walshaw with Pilky as his 5th and Pilky punching a hole in the wall
- Launching Failsworth Macedonia's opening bowler into the car park first ball after Marshy's 99
- "Send him a piano down, see if he can play that" v Greenfield in 2015
- THAT diving one handed catch against Social Circle
- Shouldering arms to Wardy at Woodbank first ball.... And having off stump flattened for the third golden duck on the bounce
5 Things Rowdy Ought to Stick up his Jumper
- A bicycle
- The kitchen sink
- A pronunciation guide to Chew
Brook Moor Chew Brook
- Roller skates
- A bulleted list of all his stories
Best club nicknames
- Scoop Doggy - Scott Parky
- Ceebs - Charlotte Boulton
- Big Bird - Russ Brooks
- Ricky Minaj - Rick Carr
- Batty Boy - Stu Batigan
Reasons the club makes money each year
- S Marsh at the bar
- N Marsh at the bar
- R Marsh at the bar
- (and repeat)
- (and repeat)
Things you see when Kieran's batting
- Dour Yorkshire defensive grit
- The full face of the bat
- Marshy shaking his head
- Lots of singles at the end of the over
- Dust settling
Things you don't see when Kieran's batting
- Pyrotechnics
Top 5 developments in recent times
- Women's cricket
- Various pavilion extensions
- Junior cricket
- Fantastic outdoor nets
- Clive allowing us to spend money
Strangest dismissals
- Les Howarth stepping 2 feet outside leg stump to square cut the ball ... right onto his stumps
- Scott Parky fielding at cover and "shinning" a very hard drive straight to his fellow fielder at mid off
- The one that never was ... John Batey of Springhead complaining that Clive had "knocked the bails off" when they were behind him - and being given not out!
- Doc and Dasher running a "quick" single, doing a Keystone Cops routine as they headed up the wicket, smashimg into each other to leave both lying on the ground and Springhead in hysterics - and Doc run out
- Clive and Asif running each other out when we needed 1 to win at Ashton
Top 5 fielding calamities
- Baz Kinsey trying to get out of the way of a tracer shot at High View and falling down the hill
- Norman Barnes taking a catch, trtipping over the boards and falling down hill towards Island Lodge
- Scoffer chasing a ball into the shed. Cue mass crashing and banging and a single tyre slowly rolling out ...
- Doc dropping Ste Bain when Springhead were about 20-8 chasing 150. He won them the game ...
- Ste Brooky at mid on most of 2015
Top 5 TSJ Christmas Songs
- Away in a Manger (the Fothergill and Harvey experience)
- Hit Your Toe and Whine (Doc P / Mike Ainscoe practice night remix)
- O Little Town of Brandlesholme
- The Dilly and the Ivy
- Rowdy the Red Nosed Reindeer
5 things Dickie P has burned
- "The" 400 year old hawthorn tree
- Most of the contents of the pavilion
- Flagstones, cans, bottles
- All bridges with the local community
- Anything that moves, and most things that don't
5 incidents that live on in folklore
- Ste Moriarty charging Heath Davis, New Zealand opening bowler
- Ash beaming Nigel Warne 5 times in an over
- Ash spending nearly 20 minutes to bowl an over when rain was approaching and we were getting tonked (we still lost)
- Frankie B and Les Howarth separately going in to bat the last ball of an innings, hitting a 6, tucking the bat under their arm and sauntering off
- Pretty much every conversation, game or memory involving Rowdy
5 people most likely to lose their rag on the field
- Clive Brooks
- Russ Brooks
- Ste Brooks
- Nev Brooks
- Si Marsh anytime we play Catholics
5 things you'll find in Watty's bag
- Hairdryer
- Bundle of selfies
- Gels, ointments and lotions
- The Art of Captaincy by Mike Brearley, with the Brearley crossed out and Watts marked in
- Haynes manuals for hairdressers' cars
