Player Profiles
Stoic batsman and excellent fieldsman, Mike delivers cutting wit and a jaw-dropping knowledge of obscure bands in equal measure. Regularly injured by Doc in net sessions. Ran the old newsletter and is a dab hand with a camera!
Now sadly relocated to London, Pete is a top class keeper, whose banter and "send offs" are legendary. Typical dogged keeper-batsman. Occasional visitor these days but always a joy to see.
New to TSJ in 2011, a very promising batsman who scored good runs in his first season. Has fallen for Mike Watts' pretty boy looks. A new addition to the football scene too, and a very cheap date - gets pie-eyed on half a shandy.
Club secretary, groundsman, Bury Cricket Group chairman and "Mr TSJ", Clive is the usual 1st XI keeper and used to be able to hit the ball a very long way. Runs himself out more often than Rowdy. Usually accompanied to the game by "Mother". Is excellent behind the sticks - except when his brother's bowling ...
Famed for being the world's joint tallest spinner with West Indies' Benn, Big Bird is a colossal hitter of a cricket ball and the world's best indoor cricket bowler. Turns slower than an oil tanker and can't get through a game without serious rows with his brother behind the stumps! Needs 3 takeaways to get through a pub crawl.
The king of the pre-bowl "warm up" (come on everyone, do the Nelly B), VETERAN Nelly B is an accomplished top order batsman and regularly cleans up the tail. One of our many ex-Walshaw players, and a king of the end of season fancy dress nights. Is he "Fraunch"?
New kid on the block, big Adrian is a welcome addition to the social side and is a keen trainer. On the negative side, he's a City fan ... Rowdy's Protege, scored his first ever 50 this year and celebrated by having his bat burned by Danny! Shamelessly admits he loves Sol Viva, and is a fan of random sporty stats!
Professional Yorkshireman and Club Development Officer. Kieran opens for the first team and despite promising pyrotechnics every match, he possesses a very very straight bat. Can play all the shots when he wants. Cruelly robbed of a wicket at Dalians in 2009, he is a useful spinner, and the loudest voice on and off the field!
Now only ever seen behind the bar polishing glass after glass after glass, Dasher is a former 1st XI captain and club Vice Chairman. One of the funniest members of a club filled with comedians! Doughty batsman when required.
Doom, gloom and the occasional flash of inspirational support! Graham is a steady, "on the spot" bowler, hard to get away, and a top man in a batting crisis. Famed for his "Nanook of the North" look, sported on Boxing Day. Cut down half the trees in Totty to get us a signal on the freeview box.
Offspring of Dr Doom, and remarkably positive! Solid left hand batter, and medium pace bowler. No, he bowls leg spin. No, hang on, he's bowling medium pace again. An excellent club man, and good in the field too. Is equally likely to extract the urine in a playing and professional capacity!
A new recruit to the club in 2009, with potential to become a key asset. Gunner is a keen man at practise, possesses an excellent action for swing bowling, and has added an injection of relative youth to the 2nds! A bit of a party legend and a valuable asset in Nice.
2nd XI bowler and partner in crime to Danny! Has put a bit of ooomph in his bowling but unfortunately can't play very often.
Despite his small stature, Rob is a top class 2nd XI player. A great fielder, very capable medium pace bowler, and useful with the bat. The ideal person to have around, and enjoys it too!
An absolute club legend, a former tearaway pace bowler and the handsomest man in Tottington. Inspirational in the field, where he can stop any ball fired his way (though generally with his shins). Another great man in a crisis, and amazing for dressing room morale. Doc P's hero!
Top class swing bowler. Can - and does - bowl all day for either side. Had a great season in the firsts in 2009, almost reaching 50 wickets, and can hit a ball a very very long way. Great fielder, pulled off countless run outs and any run to him is risky. Never stops smiling, whatever is happening. And he and his wife make a top curry ...
Has size 16 feet and plays every sport under the Sun. If he could sort his run up out, he could be a very very good quick bowler, as he has all the assets - strength, fitness and height. Superb in the field and probably the quickest player at the club.
Has 47 children and all the stresses to match. Plays less these days and concentrates more on the umpiring and support side. Formerly an excellent "on the spot" medium pace bowler for the 2s, and one of those bowlers it's impossible to slog!
Has been 2nd XI skipper about 15 times, and is the wicketkeeper and top order batsman. Has a very sound technique, and is also renowned for no-one ever letting him bowl his leg spin in a match!
Rival on and off the field with bro Simon. A recent acquisition to the ranks, Nick bowls more than useful medium pace and starred in the 2009 Calverley Cup Final. Yet another club comedian!
One of the league's top players, Marshy is another ex-Walshaw boy. A high class medium pace bowler and could well be the clasiest batsman we've had since Rob Morrison. Wonderful to watch when in full flow - and that's just when he's drinking. Extremely funny, and a perfect club man. And he gets us our kits ... and delivers our post ...
One of the league's most well known players, he's our most decorated cricketer, and also possessor of the worst set of puns in recorded history. Capable of winning a game with bat or ball, but has developed dropsy in the field. Easily riled these days! Obsessed with numbers and can tell you his precise batting or bowling figures at any point! Has a new fetish for rounders.
Young Dan is a developing batsman who improved hugely in 2009. Picks up more injuries than Jonny Wilkinson, and capable of blowing his fuse at any second. Bowls medium pace. One of the keenest attendees at practice, and our most active Facebooker (yes, he even gives Doc a run for his money there!). Broke through into the 1sts in 2011 and has a good future ahead if he can keep his head on!
2nd XI captain in 2009, Mozzer was a stalwart of the 1sts for many years. Hard hitting lower order batsman, superb seam bowler, and takes some astonishing catches. Also possesses an astonishing temper, but capable of being a proper big softie at times!
GOD!
Has a very low tolerance for failure! 1st XI captain, best batsman in the NMCL at the moment, and a top class pace bowler (who doesn't bowl himself enough). Best slip fielder we've ever had, and capable of rebuking his kids from 300 yards away whilst running into bowl and facing the opposite direction! Once managed to spend 18 minutes getting through an over in a desperate bid to hold us out from losing with rain fast approaching. It didn't work.
We often wonder quite what happened. Three very aggressive and feisty Parkinson brothers, and then there's Craig! Top class gully fielder and owner of the world famous "hoover" to the legside. Scores lots of useful runs, and very occasionally turns his arm over. Another great team man.
Another fiery-tempered Parky, Scott is the club Chairman, under whose leadership we've progressed hugely. Doesn't play much, but when he does he has been known to hold an end up ... and bowls some absolutely devastating beamers in poorly-lit sports halls. Also runs the off-season footy and woe betide anyone who misplaces a pass!
A club legend and a half. Young Richard is an intense worrier, who goes into spasms of anxiety before he bats. Obsessed with bluebells and the surface tension of water, Dickie is also our club treasurer, a job he is superb at; may well be the only worker in the construction and engineering industry who drinks from a china cup ...
Our youth drive in 2006 recruited then 60 year old Boris to the club. A former Brooksbottom man, Boris runs miles, and miles, and miles, and is still capable of top class innings - led us to victory in the 2009 Cup Final. Looks - and talks - like a throwback to the days of Imperial Britain, and has a particularly wicked sense of humour. Also capable of some almighty bust-ups with Kieran :)
A proper top order slogger who added a whole range of new shots to his game in 2008 and 2009. Five overs of Smiffy and it's mayhem. Used to bowl medium pace, but now occasionally delivers subtle variations of leg spin. Less of a worry for the batsmen than any fielder within 50 yards. Keen as mustard, and excellent in the field. Used to have a thing for headbands ...
BOOM! Give yourself a clap on the back, Scunners lad. Back in the club for 2010, yet another all-rounder. Hard-hitting middle order batsman, quality seamer and great in the field. Even better when he turns up! Has enough confidence for the whole team. One who is sure to "reach for the stars"!
Another new recruit to the club in 2009, Andy is now in charge of publicity and media relations! He's already got us on Test Match Special and Five Live! Andy's a good off-spinner and has fitted in right away at the club. Bowled a lot of full tosses in Nice "due to the thinner atmosphere at altitude".
Stella-drinking Mike was a newcomer for 2010, and has already endeared himself to club folks by putting on his work boots and helping to lay the drains. Likely to rival Marshy in the shorts-wearing stakes, young Mike is obsessed with his car ("I don't need a girlfriend cos I've got an Audi/flash car/whatever the hell it is now" - Apr 14, 2010) and bears more than a passing resemblance to another Northern English bowler. Let's hope he bowls like Jimmy and not Gerry Anderson! A bit of a hero to Stu Batigan, and a recent addition to the 5 a side team. Uses more 'products' than a typical salon. His slap catching is also legendary - well, he's held on to at least 2 so that makes him a club hero.
THE club legend. Rowdy used to be 1st XI opening batsman, but a series of illnesses have sadly stopped that run. Now turns out for the 2s, where he provides a straight bat, a comedy foil and a half for Steve Mozzer, and has the largest collection of cricketing stories known to man. Well, the largest-repeated set anyway. Spawned "Rowdy Bingo" and many guesses as to what exactly it is he keeps up his jumper ...
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